Salon Kitty [1976] with the Vicar of VHS
An evening, not too long after my fateful introduction to Jacinto Molia—a half-empty bottle of Jameson in the center of the Tenebrous Desk. Contemplating the last drops of amber liquid in my glass, I...
View ArticleMission to Kill (aka Order to Kill) [1974]
My only foreknowledge of “Mission to Kill,” an obscure entry into the Eurocrime canon, was that it features the Foppish Force For Awesome that is Helmut Berger. Honestly, that is enough to convince me...
View ArticleHelmut Berger Magazine Pictorials
I have no problem admitting that I get into a crankier-than-usual mood during this particular time of year. I dislike New Year’s celebrations (friggin’ PARTY AMATEURS) and the cold weather conspires to...
View ArticleThe Always-FABULOUS Helmut Berger
I’ve been seriously neglecting my man-crushes around here over the past several weeks, and I’m grateful that The Costuminatrix has brought this to my attention this afternoon. Let’s take a moment out...
View ArticleGreatest Fashion Statements in Exploitation Cinema History
The bespangled dhoti pants I saw at Top Shop recently have convinced me that fashion has utterly abandoned me for the time being. Lunatics have taken over the asylum, and I’m left holding a chopped-up...
View ArticleLudwig [1972]
I watch an awful lot of movies that, were they translated into the written word, would overflow with exclamation points and be rendered entirely in capital letters. “Subtlety” is not usually the order...
View ArticleLa Puritana (aka Scorpion’s Kiss) [1989]
CAUTION: This review gets a lot more spoilery than the reviews I normally write, so if you had a grey-market copy of “La Puritana” sitting at home, waiting for an evening when you were in a mood for a...
View ArticleLove Me Strangely (aka "Un Beau Monstre") [1971]
“Love Me Strangely” is a film that’s growing on me the more I reflect on the series of complexities and inversions that it offers. Sure, it’s a tasty morsel of groovy Continental sexiness from the...
View ArticleFuck Yeah Helmut Berger
Much like the unfortunate victims subjects of A&E’s “Intervention,” I surround myself with enablers. “Yes of course” and “that’s an unquestionably excellent idea” are some of my favorite phrases in...
View ArticleNew Issue of ULTRA VIOLENT plus My Latest Painting
Fans of horror cinema rejoice–the latest issue of Ultra Violent Magazine has returned from the printer and is available for purchase. In-depth interviews with cult personalities like Peaches Christ,...
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